Epiphanies and late nights
I guess this is it. I thought it would feel more, this epiphany, I thought it would be like the sun shining in a place that hasn’t seen light in years. I have never felt so real than in this moment. Alone, in my bed, in the cold, this is the moment when it came to me. This year will be a year of changes, and I so I claim it. 2014 is gonna be hell of a year, a year of pain and sacrifices. But it will also be the year of rewards and achievements. I’m baring it out, I need my soul free. It’s time to make changes, it starts today.
I pray that by the same time next year, I’ll be somewhere living my dreams, or at least feeling happy and real. In this moment, I proclaim it, I shall make changes to myself. I love myself so much that I have to lose it so I can gain a better me.
Who says you’ll have the answers huh? 20s is really the time of questions and discovering. The answers come years later, on a Saturday morning, when you’re looking at photos of your grandkids, then those unanswered questions will roam in the back of your mind. But you’ll have answers then. And so, this is me, questioning, discovering, realizing … that moments like this, they don’t come often. Epiphanies, they only come once in a blue moon, and I choose to wake up tomorrow, a changed person. :)
Gong Xi Fa Cai indeed.
They say at 3:00 am, the gates of hell opens and demons roam around when the line between Earth and Heaven is at its most vulnerable. But those who woke at 3:00 am knows better. Demons are real, they’re the ones that keep them awake. The ones that tugs their consciousness awake in the dark. They’re inside them, within them, always on the side of their vision. They smile at them, always knowing that they are there. Demons are real, but they’re not the ones from hell in a biblical sense, they have faces, but they are never the same.
There was nothing left inside of him except for the faint glow of memories of her. But even those were too painful to reach. He lost her, she was gone, along with every dose of insanity of him. Like a boat, was what he described himself, an abandoned one. It keeps floating with all of its essence unuse, there was no one to stir him to the right direction. Even the wind stopped coming for him.
As we comfort a friend who was going thru a break-up, a friend said: “Choose yourself always. “
If you’re hurting, then stop, and choose yourself. Always. Because loving yourself is the only sane thing in the crazy world called love.